Money Won't Make You Happy. Here's Why:

Author: Dustin Crossland

04-27-2021

The Paradox

It would be great if the key to happiness were to just acquire wealth. Then we could all just work endlessly to add value to society, and we would be happy doing so. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case. A popular study suggests that we only receive an increase in happiness up to $75,000 per year in income. After that, happiness and income stop correlating. Even at the $75,000 per year income level, happiness levels vary widely. While it seems intuitive that more cash equals more happiness, that’s just not the case, so it’s time to look elsewhere.

Other Theories

There's no shortage of other theories. Some studies suggest generosity makes us happier, and others suggest that it all comes down to relationships. We're social creatures after all. I'm not so sure though. I think these are things that tend to correlate rather than have causal power. The answer to actually being happy appears to be surprisingly simple, although it may not be easy.

Expectations

Most of you have probably heard of dopamine. It’s the chemical that gets released in a number of pleasurable activities from drinking to watching your team win a hard-fought game. The chemical is most commonly known as the reason people get addicted to drugs. Or maybe you’ve heard it in the context of how you can give yourself dopamine boosts by exercising and eating certain foods. Regardless, you probably haven’t learned about dopamine in its most powerful context: your expectations.

Dopamine is essentially this chemical that gives us feedback on positive and negative behaviors for our survival. Exercising tends to release dopamine for this reason. If you work to stay strong, you are more likely to survive, especially if you lived a thousand years ago. Paradoxically, as a uniquely intelligent species, we also figured out how to purposefully manipulate dopamine by using drugs. From the start, however, dopamine was primarily a feedback mechanism for our survival. We get a dopamine boost from several beneficial activities, even consuming food. One way dopamine helps us out is by giving us feedback when something happens that is unexpectedly good.

What’s the benefit there? When we go throughout life, we want to be biased toward activities that are beneficial to us. When you stumble upon a way to improve your life, you want your brain to remember that experience so you can repeat it later. For example, let’s say you’re a realtor and you stumble upon a way to get more clients. Your brain will reward you with a shot of dopamine when you unexpectedly get those clients because it’s beneficial for you to remember how you got them.

How To Use This Information To Be Happier

We know that research shows unexpectedly positive results (beating your expectations) creates a dopamine response in your brain. Technology companies work tirelessly to take advantage of this phenomenon to get you addicted to their platforms. When you take some time to reflect on this phenomenon, a clear formula arises:

Essentially, keep your expectations measured and allow life to throw you pleasant surprises. If you wake up expecting a beautiful day and get a rainy day instead, you’ll start your day with disappointment. If instead, you wake up without projecting high expectations on the weather, you’ll be unaffected by a rainy day, and you’ll receive a nice surprise if it’s warm and sunny. Simple ideas like this can be powerful in shaping your perspective on the world, and if you try them, you’ll realize that they do indeed make you more satisfied with life. Don’t expect traffic to move quickly on your way home, don’t expect things to never go wrong, and don’t expect it to be warm and sunny every day. We know these are unrealistic expectations, but we often still set them because that’s what we want to happen. Instead set your expectations in reality and you’ll find the bad days aren’t so bad and the good days are much better.

Of course, I’m not advocating for zero expectations. We need to have our expectations undermined by reality to motivate us. If we’re content with literally anything, we’ll often lack the motivation to actually accomplish something. However, it’s important to set your expectations correctly. If it’s success you’re after, set your expectations based on good values like working hard, putting effort into relationships, and constantly learning new things. These are things directly under your control, so setting your expectations this way will allow you to get a dopamine boost when you do them well and a lack of dopamine when you do them poorly. It’s important that these expectations are based on values under your control because your happiness journey should be something you can achieve regardless of outside influences. Even if you never achieve success, you’ll know you put in your best efforts, and you can be happy.

Take 5 minutes to write down some ways you could make yourself happier by simply adjusting your expectations. It’s a simple, yet powerful, idea. Give it a shot, and let me know what you think!